Hiatus

I'd like to apologize for my strange absences from blogging. Not that my two subscribers really care that much, but I just had lots of personal matters to attend to. It wasn't fun. But hopefully I can get back in the swing of things.

Today

I am not particularly going to enjoy today. Please leave a message at the beep.

New Drink

I created a new drink called "Drunk on the 4th of July".

Ingredients:
Vodka
Mixing drink of choice
An Oliver Stone movie

Cruelty

Oh and "Das Weisse Band (The White Ribbon)" came out on DVD today. Now I can get my daily dosage of black-and-white German films about cruelty. (Who knew Germans made anything about cruelty?)

Revitalization

Going to an improv meeting Sunday made me realize how much I missed improv since the Spring semester came to a close. It gave my creative side a shot of adrenaline to the heart like Uma Thurman in Pulp Fiction.

The bad side is the realization that I have way too many commitments in my life. I have successfully whored myself out to many productions and people, from American Idol to CC's to FRD improv to this damned play. I need a shower.

Scoop

Is it me or has their been an epic amount of journalism movies in the past 30 years? Movies like "All the President's Men" and "The Insider" take the not-so-action-packed plot of journalists getting the inside scoop on the story and turn into intense conflicts over "who said what"-coverups and legal loopholes. No really, I don't know why but I crave these kinds of stories, hence I'm attracted to other types of its genre like the romantic comedy "Broadcast News" (i.e., one of my favorite movies of all time), the hilarious comedy-drama "Almost Famous", and the thrilling "Quiz Show" with Voldemort.

Brodyquest

I don't know why but this video makes me uber happy, even though it's slightly disturbing.

Triumphant

Yesterday was the single greatest day I've had in awhile. Here are the bullet points:

- I went to CC's in order to pester them, based on orders from my intern director. I mean, I don't like pestering them because I know they want me to work but they have to wait on Corporate to finish background check. But upon getting to CC's, I come to find out I was about to get the phone call: I start working Thursday! Already, I thought that day was awesome. Little did I know...

- My first pay check came in from Brawler: $180.

- My friend Brittany who I worked with on Inventing Adam sent me a text, asking if anyone could help PA American Idol. Of course, I jumped at the chance and today it was confirmed: I am officially working American Idol in July!!!! Thank you, Brittany! :)

- I found a penny on the ground.

- I made friends at the CC's I'll soon be working at.

- I had a drink while watching The Shining.

- I met with Sarah to talk about life and the films we're working on.

All in all, it was a fantastic day! I am SO freaking happy. :)

Work

The P90X has kicked my neck in the ass. It's so freaking sore.

Substitute

Today, I used my college textbooks as weights to work out. Tis the life of a college student...

Boredom

Taken from Brooke. I haven't done a survey in awhile.

5 Famous People to Invite to Your Dream Dinner Party, Dead or Alive

Benjamin Franklin.

William Hurt.

Friedrich Nietzsche.

Gandhi.

Anna Kendrick.

5 Bands/Musicians You’ve Been Listening to a Lot Lately

Men Without Hats.

Lady Gaga.

Animal Collective.

Eiffel 65.

Nine Inch Nails.

5 Things You’re Addicted to

Facebook.

Coffee.

Burritos.

Texting.

Movies.

5 Celebrity Crushes

Zooey Deschanel.

William Hurt.

ANNA KENDRICK.

Tina Fey.

Amy Adams.

5 Songs You Can’t Stop Listening to at the Moment

"Hyperlink (Deep Down)" - Eiffel 65

"Summertime Clothes" - Animal Collective

"Alejandro" by Lady Gaga

"The Safety Dance" by Men Without Hats

"Closer" by Nine Inch Nails

5 Favorite TV Shows

Ranma 1/2.

Cowboy Bebop.

30 Rock.

iCarly.

Glee.

5 Your Dream Future: 1 Job /2 City /3 Car /4 Spouse /5 Pet

Director. Writer.

Boston. Germany.

One that works.

ANNA KENDRICK.

Fox.


5 Things That Always Cheer You Up

My friends.

My family.

Animal Collective.

Malcom Tucker.

30 Rock.

5 People You Want to Punch in the Face

Glenn Beck.

Um...

Beauty

For some reason, I feel like American Beauty is the creepiest and most hipster of Best Pictures in the past 20 years. What BP winner not only has an older man trying to seduce a teenage girl and find his purpose, and discusses the abstract notion of beauty?

Veg

I have cherished these past two days of unproductiveness. After two weeks of constant movement day in and day out, I slept in till almost noon yesterday and today and did practically... nothing. Yeah, nothing. And it felt good. However, I know pretty soon CC's is going to call my butt and tell my butt to start working the 5 AM - 1 PM shift and I'll have to readjust to a productive life-style. Until then, I'll be spending my last day of unproductiveness drinking raspberry vodka and Coke because I'm a pansy and watching "Almost Famous" and "Happiness" for the first time.

In honor of Father's Day, I'll add my most WTF moment of my dad that sticks out in my head. Our whole family was on a road trip--probably to our grandparents--when we hit a gully washer. It was raining so hard, my mother, who was driving at the time, could barely see. So my dad decided to help shield us from the rain by opening the umbrella all the way in the passenger seat, covering up most of the windshield. It was so random. I love you, Dad. Happy Father's Day!

Back (to the Future)

I finished my work on the film set yesterday, made a speedy escape to Baton Rouge (and my girlfriend) and am now looking forward to a semi-peaceful getaway in... Baton Rouge. Yeah, I guess to many Baton Rouge isn't the ideal spot for a getaway but it is for me. Although now that I'm finished having my soul sucked away, I can focus on other stressful things like this play I'm interning for, the wedding video I need to finish, and the part time job I'm about to start. Life is going full throttle and I don't mind as long as I don't have to make a run for props again.

Trauma

Sorry for the delay. I had a few... interesting days. Today was my break from the production from working non-stop from Tuesday til Saturday. Having a day not on set is like coming out of a coma. I have to catch up with the world (like the World Cup) after so much time away.

Amnesia

Working on a feature film again, I was rewarded with two opposing feelings:

1. Watching this old warehouse set slowly look more and more like a grungy ship hull is so rewarding. I remember quite vividly thinking to myself, "God, I love doing this" throughout the week. And it's true. I love working on films and am quite certain this is what I want to do for the rest of my life.

2. I had completely forgotten just how discombobulated information gets once the ball starts rolling and ESPECIALLY if you're like me and you jump onto this ship midstream. Coming on board a movie mid-shoot is the equivalent of walking into a movie theater in the middle of a movie and asking what's going on. People don't have time to stop and give you the rundown. My group is experiencing this first hand because all three of us PAs are playing telephone along with our Production Designer. We all get slightly varied information and we're trying to piece it all together. Thankfully, our biggest issue (i.e. how we're getting our payment and will we get reimbursed) is finally taken care of.

Trying to create a potluck order of Chinese food (or "order a shitload of Chinese and everyone share") is more stressful than you can imagine. Everyone has to mostly agree on 4 or 5 items to order in bulk and God forbid if you're a vegetarian. Thankfully I had "Alejandro" by Lady Gaga to keep my aggravation at bay while I picked up the food.

But don't get me wrong. I love working on this set and love working with this crew, especially with the Art Department all working so hard on such a time crunch. Kudos to all of you if you somehow are able to stalk me and find this blog. And for those who don't know what exactly I'm doing (which is a lot of you), here's a short synopsis: we're dressing a set to look like a fighting ring in a ship's hull. The painting will hopefully get done tomorrow as well as most of the dressing. Thankfully, we have almost all of the items we need, allowing us to do finishing touches and whatever else on Saturday. I'm also hoping to call CC's at 7 AM and asking if they have any word on whether or not I got the part-time barista job. I hope so. I need stable work right now.

Exhaustion

Working as an art department PA is arduous work. So much lifting and moving of large equipment (chains, wooden crates, wooden palettes, etc.) has me exhausted and famished every evening. Hopefully I'll at least get paid this time around.

Addiction

I just applied and was interviewed at CC's coffee house. Dear God, I hope I don't overdose on coffee this summer.

I'm also about to work for my other addiction: movies. I'm PAing for the local film "Brawler" in 30 minutes. I hope the shoot will last less than 16 hours.

Age

It warms my heart to see a comedy actor make a dramatic turn like Jim Carrey in "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind" or Robin Williams in "Good Will Hunting". What makes me happier? Seeing a dramatic actor make fun of their own image, a la Tom Cruise in his scene-stealing cameo in "Tropic Thunder".

But nothing is more shocking than for an old thespian to play for laughs:

http://www.slashfilm.com/2010/06/02/lol-ben-kingsley-submits-video-audition-for-transformers-3/

Thank you, Ben Kingsley. I'd totally choose you as Shia Lebouf's love interest in Transformers 3.

PS. Christoph Waltz, hours after winning his deserved Oscar, went on television and revealed his lesser known role in cinematic history: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kUbGcRJUDu0

"Breaking Away" (1979)

The first long forgotten BP contender I watched was the sports feel-good dramedy "Breaking Away". It chronicled the rise, fall, and rise of a boy who wants to become a cyclist after he graduates high school. He starts acting Italian to be like his favorite Italian cyclists. His antics piss off his parents but wins him a girl by saying he's a foreign exchange student.

The story and dialogue is a bit hokey along with the dated direction by Peter Yates. Yates falls into the trap many 70s movies fall into with regards to zooms: they use it way too much. In some instances, the direction is inspiring and lifts the story higher, but other times it's simply bland. A lot of the blandness comes from the muted color palette. There many yellows and... more yellows. Nothing really stands out. The sub-plots also seem to not really support the story nor the conflicts. Why do we care if Jackie Earl Haley gets married to some random chick? I don't. However, the movie still has a sweet spot in the middle and sure enough, after the lofty beginning, you begin to cheer him on with each race we see. Hell, the end race even had my heart pounding.

Blast from the Past

Since three of my favorite movies (Broadcast News, The Big Chill, and All That Jazz) are obscure Best Picture contenders from yester-year, I am going through all of the Best Picture contenders over the past 40 years to find other forgotten gems. Also, to add more flavor to this blog, I'll go through the years and give my picks out that year's Oscar list as well.

The End of Evangelion

I have finally gotten through the controversial anime Neon Genesis Evangelion in its entirety. (Minus the waste of time "Death and Rebirth".) Final thoughts:

Whereas I understood the studio's reason for the original two endings due to budget constraints, I admire the simplicity in the approach. The original endings approached the material humbly instead of "End of Evangelion" where everything seemed blown out of proportion. The first half of movie started off beautifully where the 24th episode left off, excluding Shinji masturbating over a comatose body. However, as we near the halfway point, the movie starts to veer towards the obnoxious. The religious symbolism went from modest to "LOOK AT ALL THESE CROSSES". My main problem was how the complications went from human to other worldly. Whilst the rest of the series falls into a plausible alternate reality to our world, the apocalypse leaped past plausible and felt way too "epic."

While the original endings left so many questions unanswered, the end result was something very abstract. Instead of having all these loose ends tied up in the final film, we are presented with this philosophical concept: if all of humanity joins into one being, how does one accept this totality? The Human Instrumentality Project was a project wherein all of humanity would fuse into one being and we'd all live in harmony. We'd give up all of our issues, hopes, and fears to become one. We are presented several cases of the characters questioning their very existence, resulting in confronting issues and mistakes in their past. We finally rested on Shinji's case wherein he goes from wishing for a secluded and apathetic reality to a happy one. However, it doesn't fall into the trap "End of Evangelion" falls into because it keeps the audience connected on the intimate human level.

"End" is so caught up in the bombastic destruction of humanity that it sacrifices the human stories for showmanship. Even when the second half of "End" tries to step back and chronicle the mental collapse of Shinji, the narrative hits so many wonky notes along the way. Live action sequences. Comical uplifting music. Little children with disturbing faces. The focus seems lost and we're presented with this bizarre patched-together Frankenstein of a picture which tells and shows way more than it needed to.

But I still really liked the original series so I hope to watch it again in the nearby future. I might actually buy the series because it was one of the few times I really REALLY got into a TV series, especially considering my bias towards television and my original disliking of the series.

"Saved!"

My first review in a while. "Saved!" is a black teen-comedy about a senior girl who accidentally misinterprets a "vision from Jesus" and has sex with her recently out-of-the-closet boyfriend in hopes of swaying him away from his evil ways. In the end, the now-gay boyfriend is sent to a rehab of sorts and the girl becomes pregnant.

The movie is quite funny, kudos to well developed characters like Macaulay Culkin's wheel-chair bound cynic. I agree with the movie's stance towards tolerance and maturity, how you can't blindly follow one faith. My only problem was that it took too easy potshots at Christianity in general. It felt like its message got really antagonistic and bitter before the characters finally backed off and tried to be neutral again. The villain, played by Mandy Moore, was also a little too cliche for me. Her character had a lot of detail. But at the same time, she felt one-sided and too easy to hate. Her mannerisms had a tone of "Look! The villain is Christian and a bitch! It's like Christian Mean Girls!"

Otherwise, it's a nice comedy with a good message, if a little too simplistic. Whatever happened to Macaulay Culkin?

Blindness

One of my biggest pet peaves is when a filmmaker makes the screen go from an uber dark scene to an uber bright scene, like nighttime till daytime. Maybe they neglect to accommodate not realizing that in a pitch black environment where the only thing lighting the room, theater or living room, is the movie screen, a sudden switch in lighting nearly blinds the audience. Can we get on this?

kthnxbye

PS. There Will Be Blood, I'm looking at you. I don't care if you can drink my milkshake, just don't pull a DBZ Solar Flair move in the process.

Coffee

I think it's funny how much my life has slowly revolved around coffee. In high school, I would make my dad and I coffee before we set off for school. I was kinda like a barista slave. Soon, once I started driving myself to school, I continued this ritual up until college. A coffee pot sat in my dorms but I never used it because the UC coffee was a mere 5 minute walk away.

Now in my new apartment, I make coffee every morning religiously. Pretty soon I'll turn into the tin from The Wizard of Oz. I'll be stuck in place, trying to do work and trying to mouth, "Offee.... Coffeee!" to any helpful bystander.

Endurance

I've been talking with the same person right now since 2 pm. What have YOU done today?

(12 hours, bitch! Beat that!)

Vague

Something is going to happen at some designated point in time.

That is as specific as I can be.

Aliens

I finally got around to watching M. Night Shymaoasdlasdain's "Signs". It's not bad; I've seen worse by him. But the movie is still a testament to the writer/director/producer's downward spiral since "The Sixth Sense". The man has a great eye for imagery but his writing is so awkward. It pains me that he can make a movie that questions Mark Whalberg's acting, especially after Marky Mark gained such kudos from "Boogie Nights", "I <3 Huckabees", and "The Departed."

I want french fries.

What do french fries have to do with "Signs"?

Everything.

"Congratulations!" - My Thoughts on "Neon Genesis Evangelion"

I had the pleasure of rewatching Neon Genesis Evangelion, the TV series. The famous animated series is set in Japan after a giant impact screws up the Earth and beings called Angels start attacking the city of Tokyo-3. The only defense against these supernatural monsters are Evas, giant organic robots piloted by 14-year-olds. The first time I watched the series, I was told it was one of the greatest works to come out of Japan ever. As you can imagine, I rejected it because it didn't click with me. But I wanted to give it another chance after 5 years and everything fell into place and I have some thoughts on the matter.

1. I applaud the series for delving into serious character issues. Sometimes a writer might implant a problem in the character that will easily be resolved in a matter of one or two episodes, such as an image problem. However, in Evangelion, the psychological problems are well ingrained. As opposed to what we're constantly fed through pop culture, these problems are NOT easy to fix and take time. Even from the beginning, we are clued into these character flaws that don't become prominent until the stress of fighting for their lives cause characters to break down. Killing monsters, despite being the enemy, builds and builds this tension until at some point the characters snap. They can't handle the pressure. And although the end of the series completely focuses on the mental degradation of the characters to the point of absurdity, it's nice to see an action series acknowledge the limitations of humans' abilities.

2. It saddens me that the show lost majority of its budget near the end of the series. Due to controversy over the disturbing violence of Episode 18, the show's budget was cut as opposed to the series being banned outright. The amount of reused images and wide-shots is noticeable once you observe closely. Many images have mouths intentionally obscured so the artists only had to make the still image and not the moving mouths. That is how bad the budget cut was. At the same time, it set itself apart from other animated series for using longer shots. To stay on a static image for over 20 seconds with little to no dialogue is unheard of, even in movies. But one image will last with me forever: Shinji decides whether or not to kill the last Angel. His morality is so conflicted that you merely have a shot of his robot holding the Angel. It lasts more than 30 seconds -- maybe even a minute! -- before it finally shows the fate of the Angel. Each second we wait, it's like our insides are churning, awaiting Shinji's action. It is so hard to watch because we know it's killing Shinji from the inside. But then you get to the last two episodes where you can tell all funding was lost. It abandons the story completely, delving into the enigmatic Human Instrumentality Project, leaving many of the series' mysteries unresolved. The last two episodes pose interesting psychological quandaries on identity and abandonment, including a sequence where the entire reality of the series is reoriented into a typical high school life, giving Shinji a glimpse of the life that could have been. Not only are these two episodes mostly composed of reused images, it downgrades to still drawings and then lines and then finally nothing.

3. Each Angel adds amazing depth and complexity. Instead of each enemy being only "stronger" or have some obscure ability, they evolve. The weakness of the last Angel is fixed in the new Angel and with each new situation, it becomes more and more difficult to kill them. As it becomes more difficult, the damage of each attack becomes greater and greater until the final Angel comes around and its nearly impossible to tell if everything will go okay. Oh yeah, and the fact that the series takes risks with its conflicts and characters, we never know if all will turn out well in the end. That unpredictability is something much needed in TV and movies today. Few directors and writers know how to correctly toy with an audience, make us doubt we know what will happen.

Now that I enjoy the series immensely, I actually look forward to watching the final film, "End of Evangelion", the director's answer to his fans' eager questions. I originally scoffed the movie as "absurd" and "unintentionally hilarious in its pretentiousness." What new perspective will it give me?

Engaged in the Conversation

I'm finding it slightly disturbing how many couples I know where one or both of the couple are younger than me but are getting engaged. I'm only 20 and I can already count 5 couple (two of which happened in the past few days) that are engaged or got married. Some haven't even dated more than a year.

An Austrian foreign exchange student was appalled that so many young people get married in America whereas in Europe, couples tend to wait until their late-20s at the earliest to get married. And when you think about it, it makes sense. People change in college, drastically. Heck, people change once they graduate and start adjusting to the real world. When did we put dating on the fast track?

VietNOM

I want to scientifically prove a theory I started in college:

Once you get your high school diploma, it releases chemicals in your body to make you automatically crave Mexican and Chinese food, no matter what quality.

Evidence: how much money have you spent on Taco Bell and Chinese takeout lately? Your head explode? I thought so.

In celebration of this phenomenon, I'm eating at Panchos Mexican Buffet in Metairie tonight. I can't think of a worse (better?) idea than a Mexican buffet. The Baton Rouge restaurant was closed because it failed health regulations. Our drumline used to go there every Friday before football games. Now I can't wait to go back after my Panchos trip last semester ended in me shitting fire. It hurts so good.

On the 7th day...

I am feeling a little better (I felt really sick yesterday) but I am a tired Chris Smith. Shooting weddings is exhausting work. So today will be nice and slow. Hopefully I'll be able to finish up the wallpaper work in my room. I had the pleasure of scrapping my wallpaper off the walls in my room. You see, our family was kinda sorta lazy. Meaning, for most of my life including high school, I had a blue room with a spacey wallpaper lining the top of the wall and glow-in-the-dark stars and galaxies. I don't know about you but to this day I still think it looks badass. However, it's time for a change. In a couple of weeks, we're going to repaint it and it'll be like new.

Overachiever

Some times I need to keep my trap shut. I am shooting a wedding tomorrow in St. Francisville. I told the groom I could get up really early because sunrise shots are prettier. Meaning, I'll be leaving my BR house at 4 AM. Why me?

Surprise!

Some times you meet new people through a random happenstance. And some times you randomly have philosophical conversations with these new people, admitting beliefs you've never really fully discussed with other people. It's very refreshing, I must say. I highly recommend it.

Now that's just rude!

Sometimes movie ratings baffle me. Some movies are given PG or PG-13 ratings though their content is borderline shocking and offensive, my favorite being the PG-rated "All the President's Men" and its 9 f-words. (Yes, I counted.) However, it's stranger when movies are given strong ratings for small scenes. For example:

Trois Colours : Rouge (Three Colors : Red)
Rated R for a brief but strong sex scene.

A shot that lasts less than 5 seconds. God forbid we see an unsexy, un-stylized sex scene. And what nudity do we witness? A butt.

However, you can imagine my perplexity with the next two ratings:

Primer
Rated PG-13 for brief language. (There are no curse words.)

Kiss of the Spider Woman
Rated R for a crude sexual remark.

Nothing was bad in terms of violence, sexuality, or cursing in either. However, in mentioning the dilemma to my parents, they asked if the movies had any derogatory terms. That's when it struck me: both briefly use a derogatory term for a gay man that starts with an "f" and means a bundle of sticks. I hate the word so I understand taking action for it; but it still feels weird to have strong rating for a small scene. At the same time, it's kinda interesting how serious the MPAA takes it. They really don't want people to use the term for any reason whatsoever. That's good for them, I don't mind that. So why did the filmmakers feel the need to use it? In "Spider Woman", it has some relevance because it deals with a Brazilian revolutionary sharing a jail cell with a gay window dresser. But in "Primer", he just uses it to use it. Why?

Second Opinion: Primer (2004)

Occasionally you'll see a movie and have mixed opinions of it. Such was the case of the chaotic sci-fi indie "Primer". Filmed by an ex-engineer with no prior film experience, his directorial decisions and framing irked me. The score seemed to be hitting the wrong tone. The story was beyond my grasp, though I was well-aware of the story's intentional experimental structure. The physics and the science turned me off and left me baffled. I loved the concept but something about the film irked me. However, my curiosity got the better of me and I gave the film another try. Not only did I appreciate it more, I'll even venture to say I loved it for two simple reasons:

1. The film is technically 78 minutes long but it should be advertised as 156 minutes long. The first viewing will be frustrating because you're trying to keep up with all the characters and sometimes we are bombarded with events without knowing the context or the implications. In other words, for a film less than an hour and a half, it crams in more information than most two or three hour films. The first time through you might grasp 50% at most. And with each subsequent viewing, you gradually learn more and more.

2. Turn on subtitles. It'll make your life easier. Each line of dialogue is so exact that it takes awhile to wrap our heads around it. Each line of dialogue has implications and nothing is outrightly said. The beauty of "Primer" comes from how it requires participation. It doesn't treat the audience as stupid; it invites you to piece the puzzle. The subtitles are also helpful for people like me who are science-stupid. When the characters start spouting physics lingo, it's easy to get lost and pinpoint what's important.

One thing still confuses me: Why is this movie rated PG-13 or R? Not only does the DVD case say PG-13 and the movie say R, but both claim the rating is due to "Brief Language." What brief language?! The second time through, I was searching desperately for curse words but I came up with nothing. Mind you, that doesn't mean it should at least be PG. Though the violence is mostly brief and off-screen, the themes are morally complex and the atmosphere dark. The complicated ethics of "Primer" is definitely for more mature audiences but still. C'mon!

Trees

Right now I'm cleaning my old room in Baton Rouge. Growing up, I believed everything was valuable, everything from my (retarded) drawings as a child to my 6th grade social studies grades. However, now being a little less sentimental, I'm weeding through my old school work and keeping notes (math, history, english, grammar) that I know I'll probably use in the future.

What struck me as shocking was how much paper my high school wasted. After a semester at UNO where strict budget cuts forced faculty to be thrifty on paper, I find myself going through packet after packet of articles my teachers printed out for us at CHS. My favorite has to be my World History AP binders -- that's right, plural! Almost always I could go through an entire school year with one binder per subject, sometimes one binder per two subjects. However, my World History AP teacher printed out vast amounts of information for us to stuff into our brains, causing me to haul two binders filled to the brim every day. Oh yeah, and I was one of fifteen in the class. Imagine how much paper we would've saved if she had just emailed us the articles like a college professor.

Ironically, in going through my 8th grade notes, I came upon an old poem. One day during English class, workers were trying to cut down the trees outside our windows. The noise was so disrupting that my teacher decided to not teach. Instead, she asked us to write a poem about the tree so we'd still be productive. Here was my poem (bad grammar and all):

THE FALL OF JIM

There was a tree who's name was Jim,
50 years ago we planted him.
Decades past, we've forgotten him,
and now there's only in our minds a dim
past with Jim.

Diseased, yes it be,
to the principal the message came to, you see
Thinking a wee bit, he said, "Gee,
what could we do with thee?"

Mobbing Jim with a chainsaw,
my language arts class awed and guffawed.
They slowly nitch the trunk,
and leave it to go "thump!"

(at least not on the Junior High building!)

THE END

... Did I seriously use "thee" in 8th grade?

Monkies

At Target, I overheard this conversation: "...you turn it on and it sounds like a monkey being violated." What were they talking about? A hair straightener. There is nothing sexier than a hair straightener that screams, "EEEE! EEEE! EEEE!" while your hair is straightened.

My sister made me happy I don't work for the library. She relayed a story of how a young girl was unable to tell the difference between a book, an audio book, and a DVD. Obviously, for her required reading of "The Count of Monte Cristo", she chose the DVD. When asked which DVD, the girl was flabbergasted.

Another library patron asked why he needed a password in order to use his email. Why do we even need passwords for emails anyway? I imagine a lovely Communist society where everyone shared the same email address. Each day we'd peruse the emails looking for those sent to us. At least in this world we'll all share the same spam.

New Blog

I decided to get a blogspot account because it feels like every time I mention my blog was on livejournal, people respond, "Oh, I didn't know you were still in high school." I ain't bringing livejournal back from the dead so it's time to blogspot.